What if you could help your hurting kids without a psychology degree?
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This book is our proven strategy to stop the battles and find harmony with your kids!
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- UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD: This is a brain-based approach to engage your child where they really are.
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HEAL YOUR CHILD: Past trauma is a large cause of your child's pain. We teach you how to be the healing presence you desire for your child.
- STOP THE FIGHTS: This strategy disarms any child in the midst of their responses. It will also help you stay calm as well!
- PEACE IN YOUR HOME: Connection is key to getting peace. This model has worked for hundreds of families and can help you create connection with your child and grant you the peace you crave.
What is the DANCE model?
The DANCE model is a guide primarily written for those families struggling with foster and adoptive children who are insecure and have difficulty connecting and building healthy relationships because of their past. You will learn how to step out of the unproductive pattern of battling and move to a more productive way to interact with your children using the DANCE model.
The first part of this guide walks you through three steps to developing the “DANCE stance”. This is the stance we need to have towards our kids in order to form a firm foundation of security from which they can grow. It’s actually really fun the first few times you take this stance to watch the confusion on your child’s face! They will think you have lost your mind and will wonder what you are up to.
The second part of the guide will walk you through the two DANCE moves associated with the model. In the end you will learn that no matter what you child throws at you, you will either go back to your stance, or use one of your two moves. It’s really that simple!
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Fights were more common than FUN with my biological and foster kids. I liked the times when I felt in sync with them, but those times didn’t happen very often, and I didn’t know how to create those experiences. I certainly didn’t know how to make that the norm!
So, I started out on a quest to exchange peace for the chaos in my home. In the end it not only helped me have harmony with my kids but it transformed my life and my marriage. This book is the culmination of that journey!
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What does DANCE stand for?
Decision
Decide to see your child and the situation differently.
Acceptance
Accept that what your child is doing right now is his/her best attempt to deal with what is going on inside them right now.
Non-Judgemental
Unconditional love should be given from the moment a child is born or placed in your home no matter what. This is necessary for healthy attachment. Your child will sense if he/she is unwanted.
Curiosity
Avoid direct questions. Curiosity removes any expectation from the encounter minimizing the threat the child experiences in the interaction.
Empathy
Emotional anesthetic. Essential to being able to do any work. Speaks to the part of the brain that is triggering the reaction/ behavior
What are people saying?
"I recently began seeing a young man for issues with behavioral concerns, anger, and identity issues. After our first session I suggested that the parents attend Steve's My Kids parenting class. Within the first two weeks I noticed a dramatic change in the son’s attitude and demeanor. The parents were overwhelmed with excitement over the knowledge they received, the practical tools they were able to apply, and most importantly the changes they were seeing in their son! By the end of the session, both the parents and their son were reporting that home had become a much healthier, safer, and more pleasant atmosphere for all of them. There is still some work to do on both ends. However, there was a dramatic, significant, and noticeable change with both the child and the parents, and progress is definitely evident!"
—Counselor seeing a child whose parents are in the My Kids Program
“ For seven years , we have seen traumatic stress counselors , psychiatrists, family therapists and group therapists, without success. In the beginning of April 2014 , I sought parenting strategies at Grace Wellness Center for my adoptive teenage daughter who has RAD. The strategies and encouragement have been exactly what my husband and I needed . The coaching and time spent learning how to deal with ongoing situations has yielded great benefits for our family . I would encourage any parent especially parents of children with RAD to give this avenue a serious try.” - Dana C
“Thank you for facilitating the My Kids boot camp. It was pivotal for us in learning how to effectively parent our RAD daughter. What a difference it has made for our whole family . Frankly , it has helped us across the board in our marriage, friendships, family relationships, and professional relationships. We would highly recommend this "boot camp" for parents who are challenged in raising attachment disorder children . Honestly , we are filled with hope and promise now more than ever!” - JD & SD
About The Author
Steve Luther is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Pennsylvania and the founder of Grace Wellness Center in Pittsburgh , PA. Since 1997 he has been helping children , adolescents and adults suffering with many different issues.
Steve has master's degrees in both education and marriage and family therapy and is a parent of 13 children; 9 through the foster care and adoptive system.
As an expert in Attachment Therapy and parenting , he has put together
this Christ-Centered program to help families who are stuck in the same old failed patterns and help to create new family dynamics and harmonious environments for you and your kids.
Steve is also the co-host and producer of Called to THRIVE Radio, which airs locally in Pittsburgh on WordFM 101.5 FM on Saturday Mornings at 10:30AM and can be found in podcast form on Soundcloud or at www.CalledToThrive.com.
You can find out more about Steve, Grace Wellness Center, therapeutic parenting and our many other services and treatment modalities by visiting us at www.TheGraceWellnessCenter.com